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Wishing For War: Why the Cold War was Good and I am not Crazy

Rising tensions and nerve racking instability in global politics have everybody feeling a little edgy. Russia just engaged in an armed conflict with Georgia. Barack Obama and John McCain are close in the polls and America’s role in shaping the international landscape is uncertain. Bloggers on the Internet are even engaging in articulate and detailed analysis that continues to paint a gloomy picture of a global society that is seconds away from slipping into a dark period of conflict.

Maybe then, it is a little bit cynical of me to wish for a second Cold War.

Crazy as it sounds, I’m not really kidding. You see, the first Cold War created an atmosphere of intense fear and competition that drove two highly populated and advanced nations to spend vast resources on military technology over a period of 45 years. The timely invention of Nuclear Weapons introduced of the concept of MAD, or Mutually Assured Destruction, which prevented a direct armed conflict between the United States and the Soviet Union. When the Cold War came to an end, the world was left with unbelievable new technologies which created incredible potential for economic growth. While the human potential for discovery and innovation is great in times of peace, humans are proven to be much quicker to act when working to defend themselves.

I am sure though that some of you are still skeptical so I will present you with proof of things you wouldn’t have today if it wasn’t for the Cold War and massive military spending budgets. The evidence compiled here will hopefully make a compelling argument for a second Cold War.

Microwave Ovens were invented after a scientist working at Raytheon noticed a chocolate bar in his pocket was melted when he stopped to examine a Magnetron, a central device used in military radar. The microwave, which heats food by vibrating water molecules, has become a cornerstone of the modern kitchen. As you can see in the video, when they aren’t heating up my frozen dinners in rediculously short periods of time, microwaves can even be used for senseless Furby destruction.

I don’t have to talk about how awesome television is. I can tell you though that you owe the hours you spend watching hundreds of channels worth of crappy reality shows to satellites and space travel, which are Cold War technologies.

It turns out that space travel isn’t exactly easy. The rocket power and insane speeds needed to maintain an orbit (17,000 mph) were one thing but where scientists really struggled was with navigation. The technology available for the computers needed to calculate spacecraft/missile trajectory was simply too big to fit on top of a rocket or inside the tiny Apollo command module. Big computers were creating a huge problem. Imagine firing a ICBM and missing. (Guys, we just missed the Russian silos and hit Europe. Woops?) Scientists found the answer by inventing the tiny transistor and integrated circuit. What started as the heart of a military grade navigation system has gone on to power electronic devices ranging from your computer to your cellphone. I don’t know what Bill and Jerry are talking about but my computer is already delicious. I don’t know what I would do without it.

Although the Internet has brought dramatic changes to the adult film industry, it was originally created to serve as a decentralized military communications network designed to protect lines of communication in the event of a nuclear attack. Today it has brought you this article and revolutionized the workings of the global economy. In my mind it stands as the greatest human achievement of all time along with landing on the moon (also a result of the Cold War).

I could go on with further examples of great Cold War technology but the Internet has been so revolutionary that I feel no need. So maybe I am a little bit cynical, but imagine what we could achieve with another 45 years of highly focused and excessive military spending.

I must remind you that as crazy as I may seem, I don’t actually want war. I simply want vast amounts of of money that would normally be squandered on earmarks and corrupt politicians to be focused on scientific development as a suppliment to military spending. I have only one condition, no shooting please?

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